Thank you for the thinking of me when I am thinking of you and calling me when I am thinking of you.
Chinese New Year
Another festive occasion is around the corner once again – the lunar chinese new year. To me it is no longer all about the red packets or looking forward to meet your relatives or friends/relatives’ house visiting or whatever the lunar chinese new year is in place for. Just another few hopeful sunny/breezy days. I only care about eating that traditional reunion dinner at my grandmother’s place and sitting right beside her. The food are scrumptious even though she no longer cook it herself and I enjoyed it best when she sees me eating at my 3rd bowl. I feel funny receiving red packets and such strong instincts to reject them because I find it meaningless maybe it was meaningful back then when we were kids. I don’t enjoy talking to my relatives except my cousins which we are already catching up in times and sometimes i feel weird and too awkward with people i see only once a year or maybe once in 2 years. And seeing zero point in going to your friends house for visiting, trading oranges. Sometimes I feel tradition died in me but that doesnt mean I do not respect them. Everyone rejoices when the Lunar Chinese New Year is here but i don’t see the hype maybe because never been infused much as well. Dad is so far away in the African continent and Mom will be away overseas. It is just the pots, pans, computer, tv, ricecooker and me in the house. Not forgetting the typical reunion dinner with grandmother. The last nice lunar chinese year i had and remembered was then Grandfather was still around in the house, demented but still functioning independently sitting in the corner while everyone else makes noise. But I think he enjoyed the noise more than anything.
To me, peace on a sunny/breezy day is good enough for me
Like every other year, I have no mapped out plans. I am still working, staying home and no complaints reading my Sweet Valley books all over again (Stop sniggering). Or just sleep it away. Who cares? Not as if anyone is going to fine me for staying at home. What’s wrong with staying home? I like staying at home. I find myself such a contrast from back then to now. I hated staying at home then I could go on trips/school trips/overseas trips/camps whatsoever for continous 8 months!
I hate going out on Chinese Year New. The odd and annoying chinese jingles are playing everywhere. And watching aunties/uncles watching kids singing hokkien mtv on big screen. Groans. Wo wen tiiii wo wennn tiiiiii
Nabei.
Anyway you have a great blast for the Chinese New Year. Oh ya I even forgot about Valentines’ day. Cause, everyday’s like valentines’ day for me. 
Hearts
We had a kitchen rumble today.
We have decided to hold a kitchen rumble every month in order to improve our (ok fine, improve mine) cooking skills, learning our favourite local dishes so that we won’t miss singapore if we decide to leave or at least if i leave.. Nana (her maid) couldn’t believe her ears when TCC (The Curb Cat) told her we are going to cook out. Both of them were laughing at me! I can cook ok! I really can! Gimme time, money, ingredients… and google! Or at least I can make up a dish I guess. Anyway, infinito : I can cook. So stop guessing and double crossing my words!
I made all my ingredients myself. Ok not alot, just mincing garlic and shallots. Fine, she made the ingredients herself.. Her dishes are more complicated. More exotic. I surrendered and begged for mercy and less humiliation.
Really yummy i had like 4 or smth. Feels like Popo’s chix.
Trying to imitate my grandmother’s style of prawns which I super love it. I realized it is due to the crunch of the garlic.. I only realized when I was cooking it even though I never really asked her. But grandma’s more aromatic.. Only festive occasions can eat ok! Hahah asked TCC if she likes hainanese food, she said, ” I like hainanese.” Wink. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHE If you dumbass still don’t know, Hainanese is me. Tsk.
The abalone slice is like damn shiok. Chewy chewy yums! I almost wiped off most of the broccs.
TCC didnt really like cos it was too buttery for her taste.. I like it yummeh! I feel so loser I still have to like beg her for the parsley for garnishing ahahhaha
I polished it off as well. I like very juicy hehe but it would be better if it was steamed longer.
Both of us stuffed like we are never going to eat again. It is really good, more like it’s really warming and nice to sit down with your partner to eat dinner which both of you made it. And I just sat there and looking at her while she was cooking like as if heaven has bestow something good for me and that i am super fortunate to have met her, blessed with cooking skills and best – taking my whiny shit. she took it as though she deserved it which she obviously don’t.
obviously we know who won the kitchen rumble.
but i’ll be back with more.
p.s. – first roll of diana photos came out – not too bad, not all are blank negatives hahahhaah had nice ones. we are going to try out velvia 100 and this.. another film which i forgot.. i think some kodak 120mm slide. we will do it right!!! i swear!
p.s.s – we are going to take ielts end of the year or maybe next year.. IELTS only last for 2 years.
p.s.s.s – i dunno! i confused, i dont want to work tomorrow my tummeh is bursting and i am so fat now bye
Sick
This cat is still sick, actually worst after consuming 20 chix nuggets + twister fries + fries after a late show marathon at Goh’s. The throat is feeling too dry despite gulping goblets of water and it hurts when i am coughing + phlegm (Yes you spell Phlegm, not like flem or like phlemg or like Flame). I slept the whole day today and I meant the whole day.. afterall I only slept at 5am this morning. I watched 2012 3 times! Who said it wasn’t nice at all? You bodoh know nuts about geography and it was still exciting even though I knew the story. Even Goh was very much excited as well even though her friends told her it was such a lousy show. You are lousy! I don’t mind the 4th time? Gimme the dvd, Goh!
It wasn’t a hasty or rash decision to get Diana F+. I wanted Holga but… it seems to me Holga has faded off and plus Diana F+ comes with a Flash and I’ve gotten the Instant back with the Fisheye Lens. Sweet $300. For the rest of the accessories, we are going to HK to get it! TCC (The Curb Cat – long story) and I are going to HK and BKK in March. I cannot wait for vacation to come.. I need a vacation NAOOOOO!
I am really b oring now. (No, I am boring, not I am bored. They are two different things. I am describing my life is boring.) Maybe it is not boring but I sometimes unknowingly I compare myself to those who parties every night or gets wasted or like kiss a million of boys/girls and ended up puking in their mouth or wasted opportunites unable to get in her pants. I don’t miss partying but I missed being surrounded by people sometimes. Partying is such a waste of money yeah I understand some girls they partied like crazy because some rich jerks are splashing their money around and girls get very very turned on by it.
Sometimes I wonder if I am like totally straight, hot and sexy, would I slut my nights away? I think I will leh. I might end up pregnant or maybe not.. I am not stupid. But I might be married like now already. You know how fantasy (happily ever after) gets to me.. Well, isnt that the gist of our (straight) lives? You grow up, meet a boy, have really good sex, meet another boy, finish your studies, have another good sex, get a career, have nice sex, eyeing for potential husband to be, marry him and have sex everyday, have a kid or two or none and live happily ever after.. ? Pretty simple isnt it? It is like an algorithm.
Maybe.. afterall.. eventually it will be happily ever after! haha.. i am going to do more wordseach and dose on my medicines and sleeep..omg tomorrow i am team 2 with aunty BL.. i better sleep more now. byez
stoned
The day has arrived – luggages lying across my hall, plastic aunty face and two boys running and yelling through my hall way banging on my door and a irritated mother.
To add onto my misery, I fell sick. They arrived early morning 3am sending my mother in a rage because she thought they would arrive on sunday morning instead and started banging doors in the house while I lay in bed nursing my terrible flu covered with snorts and chills. It was quiet for awhile then a burst of excited boys yelling and banging so heavily on my door as if I should be out to kowtow to them. I left zero energy and used my last breath to sigh and slowly listened to world sleeping except me. Finally they went to bed.
No surprise the boys did the same thing once again as if to announce they were awaken. I could only sigh and clicked my tongue quietly as I gathered my strength to go wash up and pay a visit to the doctor’s. The sight of them makes me want to just tie them up and whip them so hard that they will beg their mother never to bring them singapore ever again.
My house is not children proofed so I don’t give a fucking damn if they slip or fall or knock into some hard. They can bleed for all I care. Don’t sue us for that because your kid fell down at our house. If that happens, I curse them to be eunuch.
Pardon my hard hearted but I hate kids, maybe not all, but yelling and naughty kids are definitely out. I will see what goes on tonight. For now, I am too drowsy. I kinda feel as though I am floating.
I feel symptomatically parkinson. My hands are shaky and I have to cancel my badminton game with goh and friends! I wanna go out and play I don’t want to stay at that noisy house sigh filled with kids lunging screams. And the mother would try to yell at them so loud that I jumped! And then started hitting their kids and they would start shrieking and crying.
Fuck what have I done to deserve all these. I just want peace. Peace. Peace.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz save me!
lonesome
Here I am sitting at a deserted bus stop waiting for my ever-so-long bus (usually faster when I am with c) but right now I feel so lonesome with johb mayer crooning. I’m having a splitting headache right now.
I need to fill my plate to the brim so I’d be so busy so that time passes faster but at the same time I don’t want to miss out on the little things, little feelings. My dad’s going on a long working trip 6 months. I think I’d miss him a lot. Even though we hardly talked except to exchange arguments on who spoilt the tv, fridge, microwave, aircone etc or if I want to have my food. I swear I didn’t spoil any of them. Ok bus is here – boarding. Tapping.
Okay I’m on the bus now. I will miss my father. But at the same how could he leave me alone to the savaging annoying pitchy indonesians in the same roof ( refers to mother as well but she is not here 3/4 of the time anyway). Father has officially empowered me with the household chores – I am 臭皇蒂! I shall rule Mother.
I think I am more of 花木兰. (Mulan) if you’re familiar with the story. Except I am fighting bacteria, dust and mites. Scary thought.
Debated with c that I can do my chores well but she challenged me by asking me what’s the dilution for softerner, detergent! This goes by gut feelings ok! No form of measurements! No! None of you will repeat that question to me ever again!
Anyway c will be wherever I am. She taught me how to cook oats over the phone while she’s working! Look how fabulous she is. She is my helpline and lifeline.
School’s starting. I hope it treats me well. Can’t wait for holidays to come. I seriously need a break before my brain explodes in 4 directions.
Reaching home soon. Till next lonesome ride.
Cracking 2010
Now I have to get used to writing dates with 2010 or like 1/1/10, mostly i get 1/1|0 – i just can’t get used to it writing yet.. It is a problem year after year anyway. I should have been gotten down to write this whole 2009 summary before 2010 creeps past us but i didn’t, maybe somehow i was hoping something exciting or interesting to happen during the last few day of 2009 but sadly all it ever happened was work, even till to the brim of 2359.
I give this year a rate of 7 out of 10.
(From given memory and 2009 blog posts, I just read through my blog once but I still cannot remember!)
1) Gotten very very very very infatuated with Twilight series. The constant desire to hang my pad on the window, read all books at once, scoured high and low for book 4, and loved book 4 very much. Which.. I think I will re-read later again.
2) Visited South Korea in winter with my folks with many sexy pictures in Sex Museum and digested many many pork on grill! Sat in a submarine. Seen snow, touched snow, no eat snow. Gambled like pro, visited casino till 6am with the folks. Visited Jeju Island for korean drama scenic joys for the folks, I ate really warm corndog in a very windy and cold weather. Oh, not forgetting, realizing the truth that I am a shotgun baby!
3) Came home and had food poisoning in Singapore, eating chicken rice. What an irony.
5) Was roped into debating team for our hospital, fought in house and we lost as proposition of Should Human Organ Trading be legalized in Singapore? to.. never mind we are all friends now hahahha. Gotten into the inter-hospital debate team list, fought against KKH (who are still not my friends, they are really bobb-ies) and lost by pathetic 4 marks which we are super dulan by it because of some.. issues. Was really sad because we put in really alot of effort and time but at the end of the day, I guess everyone knew who was the winner……… and our director treated us Straits kitchen in Hyatt! I swear we spent too much time together.
6) Slight revamp in my room with a black beauty desk.
7) Watched Rachael Yamagata live in Esplanade Concert Hall. Brilliant, I want to go again!
Friends left for Melbourne. 
9) Gotten a new godlike cpu, sims 3 and it is still working fucking well. I am awesome.
10) Nursed a patient with fucking maggots in his fucking feet on my birthday and that I had nightmares about it. I am not lying when I said that it was so jammed up that the maggots dropped out when I opened up the bandage. ARGHHHHHHHHH!
11) Spent my birthday with my colleagues.
12) TW and I broke up.
13) Bought a bicycle and have a bicycle friend (BF) which I supposed we have traveled over 50km I swear.
14) Posted to set up a H1N1 ward and worked for about 2-3months. In contact with most of the death cases appeared on tv.
15) Big trip to Melbourne. Completed one of my have-to-achieve-before I die – Skydiving. Spent plenty of time with my friends and had an awesome time traveling on the road to Great Ocean Road and have wholesome breakfasts! Horse-riding which I could get used to the trotting.. hehehehe I fell in love with Melbourne. Have been dying to go back. Scheduled this year 16 Aug to head back to Melb and to visit Sydney as well.
16) Swam like never in Redang.
17) I have a new set of eyes. (Lasik lah)
18) Fell in love.
19) Still in love.
20) She loves me too.
I really stopped using my desktop except when I am feeling the need to play The Sims other than that I am always on berry but I refuse to activate my window messenger. Don’t feel much of a chat to anyone anyway except for Mother who is currently away in Yogjarkata. We have a brand new 47 inch tv for which I do not understand why as none of us are serious addicts to tv. Plus we do not have HBO or Starmovies which I have begged for fervently but to no avail. I am on a train right now to meet my colleague to complete our enrolment in our degree. It is pretty sad when I have little interest in studying what I am studying but I don’t have a choice do I? In order to climb these ladders, you need a degree and you need more than a deg. Not insinuating that I will eventually get a masters. Degrees are mandatory as was O levels were back then to stand in society. Imagine being a diploma holder in the future as of only a PSLE holder back then.
Really difficult life, can we really teach and learn experience what others had? I don’t care, I have a two year plan and I plan to see it through. Somehow.
Bonus came in today and not going to divulge how much I’ve gotten. Need to do my dues and end this year with peace.
I wish next year would be a turn around – a good turn around. Not as if it has not been great but I believe my life could do much better. I refuse to scrawl my yearly resolutions – yahoo was correct a year ago publishing an article on how people get depressed doing new year resolutions – looking back at years, fulfilling none. Sadly for me as well, except some.
Dec is here again. It will be time for what has happened this year and what should have been. Can’t believe this year is ending quickly. I wish you all a wondrous year ahead filled with thrills, dramas, love, adventures and feelings.
Till the next boring mrt ride again.
I am in love! I am in love! I am in love with someone whom seemed impossible, whom spent her life growing up traditionally ,whom almost seemed untouchable, whom almost never seemed to reciprocate, whom never seemed to be able to give or find her heart. The luckiest fact? She loves me back. I am more than just a luckiest woman on earth and more than just another happy me.
Current loop
Happiness is just outside my window
Would it crash blowing 80-miles an hour?
Or is happiness a little more like knocking
On your door, and you just let it in?
Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
Let it be, you can’t make it come or go
But you are gone- not for good but for now
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good
Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard
Happiness was never mine to hold
Careful child, light the fuse and get away
‘Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks
Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, that’s probably enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar
Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, but you’ll never find it all
But let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, wake up and she’ll be home
Home, home, home
leave a comment