for the later parade

in another hour to work, to work at somewhere else.

i am an complete idealist sadly that i still am after all long done practical woman. but unfortunately i have to, i am an idealist bounded by reality. you see how i am torn between fantasy and reality. i like emotions, i like to feel strongly, i like romance, i like feeling the same, i like being happy, i like knowing we can dance at the bus stop from a faraway music, i like the idea of sleeping on a roof top, i like the idea knowing we could love for the rest of our lives, i like beautiful things, i like something assured, i like building. i have so many unexplainable likes that i want to have it in my life but i know i cannot have all of them but don’t take away, of all of them, my feelings. once you chose to block it, nurture it, change me, i turned stony and voided. i turned to else where, i turned to movies, i turned to shooting hoops, i turned to sims 3, i turned to every thing else. i’ve lost my way and in time i will lose my stability that i once have.  you toughen me up you sure did.